Where do I begin Lord? About two and half years ago I got pregnant for my boyfriend at the time and I got really sick physically and emotionally. I just felt like I could not handle it. I made a decision, one that I thought I would never in my life make, but I did. I had an abortion at the age of 22. A painful decision.
I remember when the procedure was over, I felt an abnormal amount of pain that surprised the doctor and the nurse. I believe God was speaking to me at that time and letting me know that what I had done was wrong. But what was worse than that, was the emotional grief and sense of loss that I felt. After it was done I felt so unworthy of God’s love; I felt ashamed and was so fearful of my family knowing. The funny thing was that the doctor told me that the likelihood of me getting pregnant soon after was slim to none.
Foolishly, I had sex not to long after and thought it was safe.
But to my surprise I was pregnant about a month and half later. Would you believe that I truly thought that God would punish me and never let me have children again after I had made my mistake? But no, God is amazing because He not only gave me one child but two amazing sons! I was scared, overjoyed and blessed. I was about to receive a double blessing in my life and I truly to this day believe that after I prayed for God to forgive me for what I had done, he did so by blessing me with my sons, Alexander and Joseph. They made me a different person in so many ways. They made me grow up and want to become a better person, not just a better mother, but person; to be a great role model for them. They brought my family at least on my father’s side closer because of the joy they brought.
God is amazing because He not only gave me one child but two amazing sons.
I am truly thankful for the forgiveness God granted upon my life. He could have made me barren, have a complicated child birth but no, God is truly good because even though my sons were born a month premature, they came into this world healthy both physically and mentally and that’s a great gift for a mother to receive. God has placed so many wonderful caring people in our lives which makes me feel less negative about being labelled a “single mother.” Because, guess what? I am not single or alone in bringing these boys up for they and I have our Father, God walking beside us, providing for us and sending the right people to us.
Thank you Jesus! You have shown me love in a way no one I have known to walk this Earth has shown me. I hope that young women will not allow the devil manipulate them to make such a poor decision out of fear. Keep Jesus in your life and He will always direct you towards making the right decisions that will prove to be fruitful for both you and your family.
Image Credit: shutterstock/Oksana Kuzmina