Most, if not everyone knows what it is to be in this situation. Someone says something to you, it cuts deep, and it leads to a spiral of emotions such as sadness, bitterness, vengeance.
It upsets your entire day and after feeling badly about it for a while, you choose to combat the situation with making a plan on how you will change, choosing to accept the words spoken over your life, or, just hating the person who said them, or, maybe all.
My first piece of advice is to monitor.
Monitor which words it is that can affect you. There are some people that are okay with being called weird, but they hate being called slow. Some people don’t mind being called sizey, but they hate being called old. Whatever it is, figure out which words hurt you specifically. Which words threaten your being? Are they the words based on your appearance? Your intellect? Your personality? Your family?
Once we’ve identified the problem, it’s time to fix it. The first way words can hurt, is if you have insecurity in some area of your life. Are you insecure because your family is the lowest class of the lowest tribe etc. like our dear bible friend Gideon?
Identify your insecurity, identify the root and now let’s solve the problem with the universal answer. Jesus.
Jesus, the coolest man out, who has been tempted in every single way possible was faced with the situation of words which could have cut deep, if He had let them.
Satan chose Peter. He chose Jesus’ close and dearly loved friend. He did not choose a random pedestrian. He chose someone close to his heart to affect Him. Satan will send people close to your heart to affect your life. Most times, he sends our parents; he sends them to call us lazy and insolent. Then he sends our friends, to call us ugly and unfashionable etc.
Satan sent Peter to tell Jesus that He could never go to Jerusalem and suffer.
Although Peter may have in his heart meant well, Jesus replied in Matthew 16:23 “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” You see, from Jesus’ point of view, Peter was essentially telling Jesus that he couldn’t do God’s will for His life. It was God’s will for Jesus to suffer, and Jesus knew that and delighted in doing His father’s will. Peter was in a place where Satan was using him to attack the will of God and distract Jesus with worldly things, such as, not dying and simply sipping tea with His disciples for the rest of His life.
Don’t all insecurities happen because people don’t believe in the love of the Father? If we could set our minds on the concerns of God, and not human concerns, couldn’t we just be free forever? If someone calls you clumsy, and those are the words that cut deep in your life, couldn’t you just see Satan behind the words, trying to put a stumbling block by distressing you and say “Get behind me Satan, I am God’s labourer, and you will not distract me with your lies today?”
What if someone calls you ugly? Couldn’t you say “Get behind me Satan, I don’t have time for your perspective on beauty, only Jesus’ and that’s my focus?” Now, you don’t actually have to call your friends Satan and say these things out loud… but in everyday situations, you need to identify Satan and reject him, his words and his will for your life from your heart.
Because, like I said, if being called “ugly” is your soft – spot, and Satan got someone to call you ugly, wouldn’t your resolution be to spend all of your time buying make-up, clothes and worrying about your beauty and trying to impress and win the approval of others? Waste. Of. Time.
Focus on the concerns of God and not human concerns!
Humans are concerned with your education, status, looks, money. God is not concerned. He will use you anyway, put your hope in God!
There’s one more thing that can cause words to hurt. Sometimes words hurt when they are NOT true, but we are insecure, and then sometimes words can hurt because they ARE true and we are insecure. Every once in a while it’s good to be humbled by some godly correction, and you will have to discern it. Maybe someone, like your boss has told you “it’s time to stop being lazy.” Well, look at your life objectively, with the Holy Spirit and see if you really are being lazy. Look at who is telling you. Is it someone trusted? Is it someone who knows you? Then, if you find it to be the truth, you don’t need to go into a flurry.
All you need to do is prayerfully ask Jesus to help you overcome.
Remember He has been tempted in every way like us and can have compassion on our weaknesses. If you are lazy, it doesn’t have to be your identity. The only way you will be distressed is if you accept it as who you are. You can also get a second opinion. If it’s true, deal with it with Jesus. You already know He doesn’t want you to be condemned, so, be strengthened and fight it off.
I do pray this advice helps. So many people walk around disturbed by what others have told them. Maybe they have told you certain things because they have a problem, but the moment it starts to affect you, it shows that YOU have a problem as well. You only have to accept the words Jesus speaks over your life and be concerned with the concerns of God. It’s Him you are living to please. So, brush off Satan and refuse to let him hinder your life with the words people say, no matter who it is. May you never have a bad day again because Satan has used someone’s words to hurt you.
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