Psalms 55:22 “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”
In August 2009, I went to pay a cable bill and as I joined the line, this young lady came and stood up behind me. She waited until we had reached about three-quarter way up the line and then touched me on the shoulder and asked me if I had a relationship with Jesus.
At the time I thought that just going to church would qualify you to have that relationship with God, so I told her yes, and that I used to attend a church back home in Tobago, but since my mom and dad split up, we had moved to Trinidad and I never really set foot in a church since. This young lady took that as the opportunity and began to sow a seed into my life. I was so overwhelmed, tears began to flow. We exchanged numbers and I agreed to start bible study. Every evening for about two weeks after work we would meet each other for bible study.
At my workplace, I had a friend who was a member of the Ethiopian Orthodox faith, and when she found out that I was taking bible study with a stranger that I had met, she became jealous so I decided to give her priest a try also. After all, she had been begging me to go with her long enough.
So I began bible study with my friend and eventually I stopped meeting the young lady after work. I told her that I was attending another bible class, and to me she seemed pretty much calm about that. She prayed for me on numerous occasions over the phone and she would also flood my phone with bible verse messages.
Honestly, I was not looking for help from God at all. I was looking for whatever sympathy I could get from men. There were many hurts and turmoil that had built up inside of me and I would actually blame God for everything.
In my personal life there was so much to deal with.
I thought that I could have fixed it myself, but the more I tried on my own, the worse every situation would get. So I decided, “Here’s what, I’m just going to enjoy my life to the fullest. I’m young, beautiful and definitely don’t need anything or anyone holding me back!” With that mindset, I didn’t get far because my father was beginning to complain about my life and I was in a relationship that was going wrong in every possible way you could think of.
When I moved to Trinidad, I met a friend and from ever since that time, we have remained friends, so I decided to call this guy for advice not knowing he had just recently got saved and was on fire for God. So I called him up and he started talking about God and invited me to attend a church service with him on a Tuesday but I came up with all sorts of excuses. He did not give up though, every time I would call to discuss the problems in my personal life, he would use that as the opportunity to talk to me about Jesus. One Tuesday in December, I called him and he invited me to service again, I told him yes I would come but that was not enough for him (smart guy!) so he said, I’ll come and pick you up after work. I was totally freaked out because I knew in my heart that I wanted to be somewhere else besides church that night.
So I hurriedly hung up the phone and went to tell my co-workers because most of them were Christians anyway, and they started talking about transferable spirits and some weird stuff so I decided to ask one of the girls to accompany me there. So I finally arrived at the meeting and was listening to the pastor preach.
I was in a state of total shock, my entire body felt numb. He then asked for a show of hands of those who would like to give their life to Christ. So many voices began speaking in my mind; I did not know which one to respond to.
When I finally opened my eyes and looked to the side of me, I saw my co-worker standing up and my friend that invited me was to the side of her with his hands out to help me up, when I stood I tried to go outside but my friend wouldn’t let me pass so I was stuck there standing. The pastor then led us in the Sinner’s Prayer and prayed for us to receive the Holy Spirit.
Now my eyes were closed and my hands were lifted, and suddenly, I felt this warmth touch me. I tried my very best not to fall, I made sure to plant my feet to the ground. After leaving that night, my co-worker and I were in shock, we couldn’t believe what we had heard. In my mind, I was thinking I have to get more of that, I want more. I have to visit that place again, there and then I became very curious.
That very week, I was home alone one night and my whole life started displaying in front of my eyes with all the hurt and abuse my earthly father caused me.
Then, adding to that, my relationship with my current boyfriend was not a healthy one either. I was just looking for a way out of everything, trying to find out what was my real purpose on the face of the earth and all I could come up with is just brokenness and hurt. The feelings were so intensified that I could not take it anymore.
When I looked around my room, I could see something appearing in front of me so I rushed for any medication I could find in the house. As I was about to take it, I heard a voice saying “Why not give your problems to me?”
I burst into tears and I went to the Lord in prayer. That night, I cried and let everything out. When I was done praying, I realized that something had been lifted from me, it was completely gone. I cried until I fell asleep that night. Imagine what would of happened if I had committed suicide that night! I praise and thank Jesus that he has rescued me from my sinful ways. I thank Him that He is using my life as a living testimony to others who think that there is no hope. Please my brothers and sisters, there is no situation that God cannot handle for you by Himself, for he is Sovereign and Righteous. He wants to handle all the troubles that you have, for He loves us so much that it hurts Him when we are hurt. I pray that you will open up to Him and allow him to eliminate the things which are hurting you in life. Peace and blessings.
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