“Don’t fail to discipline your children. They won’t die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death.” Proverbs 23:13
I see the government is interested in parenting the nation. Physical discipline is an act of love towards a child, however many parents abuse their children out of frustration, anger or even hate. No child wants “Zorro” for a parent.
It is constantly reported that our daughter is one of the most obedient children in her school.
The secret ingredient is pure love.
Unfortunately, many parents turn to the rod not as a means of discipline but as a means of venting. I would like to suggest to parents some strategies for discipline – the goal is discipline not blows.
- Love your child unconditionally
- Talk to your child and explain the danger of their behavior
- Use creative ways of discipline – No TV, No games etc.
- Share some licks when needed
If you fill your home with love, you will find that physical discipline is mostly needed in the early years of your child. Let’s suppose your child (2 years) kept on trying to stick a fork into the electrical socket. You might not be able to explain the workings of electricity, however a swift lash on the child’s hand says – Danger, although, I don’t understand I must stop now! – you might save their life….better a loving lash than an electrical one.
As your child grows, your love will be sufficient for them to believe and trust your words.
My daughter begins to cry once we speak to her sternly. I think she would prefer the licks than hurting her mom or dad.
The VERY WORST thing a parent could do is beat their child and enforce destructive identity beliefs verbally at same time. For example: “You stupid! You are a bad boy! You are just like your father! I didn’t raise a foolish child!” The pain of “licks” creates the doorway to implant destructive beliefs into the heart of a child. These beliefs can shape your child’s identity for the rest of their lives.
Always CORRECT the action but AFFIRM your child’s identity as a child of God.
So when I correct my daughter, it normally starts like this, “That’s not you….” or “You are a Jesus girl….” When your child is disciplined they should feel intensely loved by you and feel that your correction is bringing them back to their true identity. Your face should be filled with love, compassion and even tears as you physically discipline your child. If you are angry – STOP! – discipline yourself – think! There is no more contradictory sight than to see a parent screaming and shouting – “you mad, you crazy” – while this parent demonstrates true madman behaviour!
Whatever you do, love your children unconditionally.
Always make sure that they know that their behaviour good or bad will never affect your love for them.
Then you can say, “Oh baby, daddy loves you, if I didn’t love you, I would leave you to do wrong but because I love you, I must correct and discipline you…”
Hebrews 12:6 – “For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child. As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all.”
So is that the question?