You’d be surprised about what husbands and wives fight over. Sadly, bitterness can lead to separation and even divorce. Sometimes it begins with little things that escalate. Bitterness springs up from little seeds.

Here are a few examples:

“He doesn’t help me wash the wares!”
“He won’t even help me cook!”
“I am sick of seeing the toilet seat up!”
“He is nasty – he never takes a bath!”
“Xbox, Xbox, Xbox! He loves Xbox more than me!”
“He loves his mommy too much! Mommy cooks this way, mommy washes his clothes. I don’t know why he didn’t marry mommy!”

“She is just like her mother!”
“She is a nag! Energizer has nothing on her! On and On and On!”
“She is possessive!”
“She always feels that I am with another woman! I can’t take it!”
“KFC, Wendy’s, Polio Tropical in this climate! – this girl can’t cook!”
“She is always calling for MONEY! I will have to get a ski mask to support this girl! “Look! How many shoes can one human buy! Just Don’t bring KFC for me in jail eh!”

It would be funny if it wasn’t so true!

My advice for couples:

Write down 10 things that you would like your significant other to change. Don’t play cute – write it down. When you are finished, look at the list closely. It is not a list of 10 things that they will have to change to prove their love to you. Rather, it is the price of unconditional love.

Are you willing to love them if none of the things on your list changes?

We never change to be loved but rather we change because we have been loved. Sadly, people trap themselves in self defeating cycles. They demand their significant other changes to prove that they love them. Hey, when you give them your list and they refuse to change even one thing on the list, then you can conclude they don’t really love you or care about your feelings. This is when true unconditional love starts. God loved us while we were His enemies and while we hated him and didn’t even care about His feelings. He changed us, changed me – by this kinda crazy love.

Are you trying to change your spouse?

Have you tried unconditional love? God’s kinda love. What if a husband and a wife would love each other unconditionally – wow! marital bliss! – both changing naturally because they have been loved, becoming more and more one everyday.

Sadly many people enter marriage only looking for love instead of looking for someone to love. If you are looking for love, marriage is not the answer, you need Jesus – God’s unconditional love. You cannot give what you don’t have. When you are filled with God’s pure, undefiled love, you are now ready for a spouse – to love them unconditionally. Love conquers all. Unconditional love can never be defeated.

May you indeed know the love of God that passeth knowledge. You can know something through knowledge or by having a living experience. God wants you to experience His love. My heart’s prayer for you is that you will experience the fullness of the crazy love of God.

Image Credit: shutterstock/iofoto